A Different Senior Moment

Full of Crow Quarterly 2013

The elderly woman opened her front door to see who was knocking on the locked screen door.

“Hi, I’m Lorrainefrom “Choose Some Cans” and we’ll be coming by every Tuesday to offer our seniors a few cans of food to supplement their pantry.” A large full basket with a straw handle lay on the stoop next to her.

“I didn’t call anyone,” Letty, the old woman said and began to close the door.

“Wait,” the pretty young lady told her. “We have a list and you were on it and there’s no charge.”

“How do I know I’m going to like what you’re giving me?” Letty asked.

“It’s your choice from this basket. If there’s nothing you like don’t worry and don’t take. If you do like what you see you can take up to three cans.”

“Okay. Let me go and get my glasses. I’ll be right back,” she said and closed the door part way.

Lorraine looked a little put out for being kept waiting when Letty got back to the front door. She fumbled while trying to unlock the screen door the police car came roaring down the street, lights flashing, siren wailing.

As they were leading Loraine away with her hands cuffed behind her Letty stopped the policeman, “Wait. Can I choose some cans?”

She walked back into her house with three cans of Chicken of The Sea Tuna, a can of Macaroons and one large can of Maxwell House Coffee. She placed them on the kitchen table next to the warning flyer that was given out at the senior center about the thieves going around robbing seniors on the pretext of giving them free food. She thought the sketch could have been better but they got the ponytail right.

She took the paring knife out of one apron pocket and the corkscrew with the wooden handle from the other and put them back in the drawer before called her friend, Evelyn, to come over for coffee and . . . not telling her what the ‘and’ was. She’d tell her when they were sipping their coffee and nibbling on macaroons and then Letty wondered what she’d wear to court when she testified at the trial.

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